Sonder
by TheKnight000
Summary: She thought she was a mere passerby in his life. She doesn't know how wrong she is. And he, master of all things, doesn't know how to fix it.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Twilight.

**Sonder:**

The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own – populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness – an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the high way, as a lighted window at dusk.)

_In the beginning, he was a child, stuck in a tree. Scrawny, scrapped knees, hands too big for his body, white knuckled to the branches. Shaking the like the leaves he was surrounded by. Apple green eyes, wide, scared behind his wire framed glasses. He was a stranger to all the other children. They had known each other, since their first memories, and he had just jumped in, at the ripe old age, of seven. Trying to be brave, like the rest of the boys in his class, he made a faithful leap into the branches and climbed as high as he could, and then made the mistake of looking down. He found himself crouched between two connecting branches, unable to move as the other children walked away, recess having been called over. His eyes burned red as he fought tears, at least until he was alone. Then he could cry. Then he would find a way down. If he fell, no one would be around to see it. _

_In the beginning, she was the odd girl, who made it to the top of the tree, jumped down, and broke her arm. Slung up in a baby blue cast, she watched the scrawny newcomer fall to paralysis in the middle of the tree. She chewed her gum obnoxiously, and waiting for him to come down, the 'pop' of the gum, matching the tap of shoe as she impatiently beat it into the ground. When she realized he wasn't, and couldn't, she knew she had to help the poor little guy, who was inches shorter than she. _

"_C'mon, you can't stay up there forever." She said. She knew she startled him by the jump and shake of the leaves, acorns and leaves pummeled to the grass. _

"_Leave me alone" he whimpered, who was the girl to tell him to come down, when she had broken her arm doing so herself? _

"_No. You're not so high up. If you move your right shoe, no … your left shoe… to the branch that's thickest to the center, you'll have a straight shot to another thick branch, and then another. C'mon little guy." She urged him like he was her hamster who got lazy in the middle of his trek up the tube. _

"_I don't want to fall off." He cried into his sweater. He wanted to beg his mother not to put him in it. But the look in her eyes when she covered him in her home knit sweater, was too much. _

"_If you come down, I'll give you a piece a gum. And I'll make sure those kids won't pick on you again. Come on. Come on, man." She stomped her shoe this time. And with a smile tugging on her lips she watched as his smaller All-Star came down upon the branch, and he slowly worked his body down the thick three. _

_When he was two feet from the ground, he jumped off, collapsing on his but in the gravel, and looking up at the strange girl, who popped her gum, and dropped a piece of 'Bubble Trouble, extra strength." On his stomach before turning and stomping toward the school, her shoelaces that had been untied flapping in the wind. And in that moment, she was his hero. _

**Forks, Washington, Mother's Day Weekend, Friday. **

**Present **

Isabella Swan pushed her rickety old cart through the grocery store. The wheels groaned, for some reason there was always a wheel on the cart that flipped from side to side and the it had gum sticking to the bottom of it.

Remaining positive was harder said that done.

She shoved around raw hams and turkeys in the bin as she searched for the weightiest one to feed her family, her growing family. She ignored the tell-tale chirp of her phone that was no doubt her mother, who had recently learned to text. What a mistake.

When Bella was a little girl, she would never image herself thinking such a thing as, "_I wish my parents hadn't got back together." _

When she was a little girl, that was all she could think about. Was her mother living in the desert and her being in the rainy town of Forks with her tired, overworked father, who made her grilled cheese every night. When she went to a literature competition in Florida, and stayed on a resort, all expenses paid, and her mother and father came along, her wish came true. Now sometimes she wished her mother stayed in the desert.

Her phone chirped, and then broke into song. She dropped the turkey in the bin and turned to dig around in her bag.

"Lo'?"

"No turkey, just ham. I found a recipe online just now, it calls for apples and pears and – get this – bacon! So pick some of that up. What's taking you so long? I sent you to the grocery store hours ago." Her mother carried on, not giving her time to answer the first question. "don't forget to get some wine from the liquor store on the way back, red and white, nothing too cheap. Dinners on your dad. Oh and get some fabric softener, I'm doing your laundry. What is taking you so long?"

"_If you'd just shut up and let me talk I'd tell you." _

"Nothing. I'm picking out a ham. I'll be there in a bit. Don't do my laundry. I can do it."

"You'll never believe who stopped by the house! Melissa and Randal Stanley! Remember, you were friends with their daughter, Jessica? I guess their hosting the big shin-dig in the park this year for mothers day."

Bella rolled her eyes at her mother. And pushed the cart forward with one hand unsteadily, she headed down the bread isle.

"I'm sure it'll be fun." She droned. She looked between potato breads.

"More than fun." Her mother intoned.

"Right." She rubbed the stress spot that was forming between her eyebrows, she looked up as the loud sound of heels echoed on the cheap linoleum. _Who wore heels to the grocery store? _

Speak of the devil. Jessica Stanley turned the corner with none other than Irina Gordon, the two curly haired devils that tormented Bella in high school. Jessica leaned over their shared cart, her breasts spilling out of her absurdly low cut top as Irina tossed the bread in the cart.

Bella shook her head and turned back to her potato bread, but their conversation drew her in.

"He's in town, I saw him last night, well .. Kinda, driving through. He was in a black jaguar. So hot. I hope he's staying a while." Jessica made an attempt at a purr, but it sounded like something was caught in her throat.

"Yeah, his mom was in the store the other day, telling me how excited she was _all _children were going to be home." Irina said, with an excited bounce in her voice. Bella was more concerned with the fact that Irina apparently still worked at the same clothing store she'd been working in since her junior year in high school.

"I'm so glad someone from our high school turned out rich and famous, gives me a shot at trophy wife." Jessica said, as they passed Bella, she ducked her head closer to the bread shelf so they wouldn't see her. And she thought of her ridiculous behavior. Ducking and dodging them still to this day. What would her therapist say?

"Get ready Forks, Edward Cullen is home, and he is all mine." Jessica called through the aisles. Bella dropped her package of rolls on the floor. And left them there. She cruised to check out. Avoiding the lanes where she could hear the obnoxious call of fake C.L. boots. She headed toward the end lane. The cigarette lane.

_Bad time to try and stop smoking. _

She tossed her groceries on the belt, ignored the odd look from the cashier as she stuttered out a raspy, "Marlboro Black's, please". She paid in all wadded up cash, forgetting her father's credit card that was shoved in the front pocket of her purse for the exact purpose of paying the grocery bill. She basically ran out of the store doors.

She lit a cigarette as she shoved the groceries in the trunk of the car.

She could not, would not, run into Edward Cullen. Not after what he did to her.

**Small chapter, just to grasp what you guys feel from the story. **

**Please let know. **

**Chapters will get longer. **

**Reviews are welcome and loved. **


	2. Chapter 2: Petrichor

**Petrichor (n) **_The scent of rain on dry earth. _

_And then, he was fourteen. Still gangly, hands – always too big for his body, painfully, achy, shy. His eyes shielded still by wire frames. His ankles were bared to the wind in his too small pajama bottoms. He stared at his hero. _

"_C'mon you have to learn." She stood in the middle of his living room. Thick, furry socks covered her small pale feet. Her hand outstretched toward his. Teaching him to dance. _

_He inched forward, shy, awkward, but comfortable in Bella's presence. His hand went into hers. She softly shielded it and drew him just a bit closer. He stumbled, bare feet catching nothing in the carpet. That was his eloquence. She laid his hands on her nonexistent waist and hers on his boney shoulders. _

"_Relax Edward, no girl will dance with you if she thinks you're going to take off like a jackrabbit." She said. He didn't tell her he didn't want other girls to dance with him, only her. Instead, he just nodded quickly, understanding everything she was saying, taking it all in. She was the best teacher he ever had. _

_Slowly, the music from the TV turned on again, and she started them swaying. Sliding out and in, hands gripping together they swung around the living room, not noticing the eyes that watched them from the stairs, giggling to each other and gaining delight from the vision that was their shy son, dancing with a pretty girl. _

"_Am I doing this right?" He asked quietly as she stepped closer and then far away. _

"_Yes. You're doing fine." She assured. His crooked smile made a startling appearance on his face, and with a fierce determination, he took the lead. That's what Bella made him do. _

_Take the lead. _

**Forks, Washington – Mother's Day Weekend. Charlie Swan's Porch **

**Present **

Bella learned she was not as good as a person as she thought she was, when she was in college. A small life lesson: When someone leaves your life willingly, your husband/ wife leaves you, your dog runs away, your best friends leaves, you kind of want them to be miserable. And should they ever come back, you want them to see that you are doing just fine. It unsettles the person when they can google someone, and web pages and fan sites pop up, looking back at them. They want to get a phone call in the middle of the night, of that person, saying "I never should have left you."

No one will ever admit this.

Bella learned in college, after the departure of Edward Cullen, that she was not as nice as everyone and herself assumed her to be. She kind of hoped she would see him on the news one day, sued for malpractice, deep in divorce, on the Maury show. None of these things happened.

Edward Cullen went to college and became one of the best surgeons in the United States, and one of the best business men in the world. His business: Medicine.

Instead of being on Maury, he appeared once on Oprah, and The Doctors and even Good Morning America. He dated models, actresses, and even a woman from the Food Network Chanel. And he was awarded money every year for his '_astounding' _ research and development of medicine and technique.

Bella struggled her way through college, still paying off debts and running from crazy ex-boyfriends. She wasn't poor, but she wasn't rolling in the big bucks driving through Forks in a jaguar. She had a nice office, overlooked the city, told people basically how to plan their lives. When she didn't even have hers together.

Bella took a deep drag on her cigarette and slunk deeper into her porch. If she saw him, she was running him down. She thought about calling Dr. Gen, but her therapist was probably having a well-deserved break from her. She dropped that cigarette butt on the ground, crushed in under her slipper and took another between her pointer and middle finger.

Life wasn't fair.

It was supposed to be that people who turned their backs on their friends in high school, ended up having sad and sorry lives. Not rolling in gold coins! She took an angry drag and dug her palms underneath her eyes to catch the moisture. She'd returned to Forks every year for mother's day, why was he back now?

She'd managed to avoid his family just fine and could even now drive pass the school without immediately getting hits of ridiculous flashbacks from their pathetic high school days. Bella resisted the urge to dig the burning ember of the cigarette into her knee.

He got out of the tree all right, and then turned and burned the rest of the goddamn forest down.

"Thought you quit." Her father rumbled behind her.

"S'not a good time. I cant visit home and quit smoking at the same time. Was dumb that I thought I could" Bella said, blowing the smoke out in one smooth exhale.

"You're mom's freaking out in there. Something about emphysema. You'd better at least fake quit while you're here, so I don't have to hear about it." She could hear a small plead in his voice.

"I'll see what I can do." She already knew she couldn't do it.

She turned to asses her father. In black sweat pants, red flannel and a beer can he was the rock to her drifter. His mustache twitched as he took her in, slumped on the porch chain smoking.

"What's wrong Bella-B.?" He asked. He settled down beside her, stretching out his bad knee where someone had landed a bullet. One of the only shots fired in Forks Washington, permanently in Chief Swan's knee.

"Did you know Edward Cullen was back in town?" She asked him. She noticed him stiffen momentarily, fingers grip the beer bottle extra tight for just a moment, before dropping into a relaxed position.

"I'd heard something like that through the grape vine. Is that was this whole, smoking the house down, thing is about?" He asked.

"I'm not smoking the house down." She grumbled, "I'd just heard some girls in the store say he was back, wondered if it was true." She shrugged in the smallest way.

"Since when do you join in on town gossip?" He asked her with an amused quirk of the stache'

"Stop being an asshole and tell me if it's all true." She turned her own pleading brown eyes to his matching ones. She noted some stress in them, and around the corners in the form of those telltale wrinkles.

"It's true." He said simply. "That make you feel better?" He asked, smirking.

"No." She pouted.

"didn't think it would" He said, he took a long pull off his beer and stared out back with her.

"You gotta let this go Bella-B, he's moved on, obviously, so you have to as well." Her father shuffled his boot about on the concrete stairs. She flinched at that little word, _obviously. _

Obviously, Edward Cullen was doing just fine in his billion dollar mansion in Chicago. Obviously Edward Cullen was doing just fine with his multiple degrees. Obviously, Edward Cullen was, just damn fine.

She stubbed her cigarette out and went to reach for another when her father caught her hand. She drew back.

"I don't know what that Marlboro is doing for ya, if it were my guess, I'd say making it worse." He rumbled. She glared his direction for a moment and then reared in her inner tiger. _He's only trying to help_, she thought.

She glared at the concrete then up at the stars,

"It's not fair, ya know? To some selfish degree I want to say that he owes me, he would never be where he is today if not for me, but I also know that's a lie. Edward's always had a brilliant brain, and he was going to grow into his body sometime. It just pisses me off. He got good, and dropped me here." She shook her head in disdain.

"Take the moral high ground." Charlie said, another long pull of the beer being taken.

"The moral high ground doesn't feel as good as it should." She said, she threw her pack of cigarettes in the air once, caught them and stood. Charlie stood as well, straightening his bad knee, grimacing a bit, she wrapped an arm under his armpits.

"You should get that checked out." She told him, she helped him limp into the house. She snatched the beer can from his hand and tossed it into the garbage as they entered the kitchen.

"Been checked out. Nothing they can do, scar tissue and what not. Just help me in the recliner and if you don't mind some ice and a blanket to cover this. God forbid your mom see this." He grumbled.

"I'm sure she'll see it anyway. Ice isn't going to do you any good anymore, I'll get that pain medication for you." She gently helped him into his warn brown recliner in front of the flat screen and rooted around for the remote.

"I'm out of the damn pills. I don't want anymore. I don't need any medication, I don't need to take something every day like some drug addict." He grumbled. She spun on her heel and glared at him.

"I'll go to the pharmacy. There's no reason you can't take pills your doctor prescribed you every day. You'd better stop or I'm calling mom down here. I've got to get cigarettes anyways, I can stop by the pharmacy." She snatched her purse from the side of the couch and snagged his wallet that would hold his insurance card.

"Don't go out so late. I'll get them in the morning." She rolled her eyes. She was already half-way to the door.

"I'll be back in a minuet. Don't go to sleep yet." She warned, slamming the door behind her. She climbed into her small car, the soft leather seats giving way to her black stretch pants. She checked herself in the mirror before leaving the drive way, making sure she didn't look homeless. She curled a chestnut colored piece of hair behind her hair and tugged down her shirt, and then back up, so she didn't show too much cleavage.

It wasn't like she had anyone to look nice for, but Forks was too small of a town to risk running into someone.

She parked quickly at the corner store and headed in. She checked the pill prescription from his wallet one more time. Vicoden.

Working quickly with the pharmacist, she got his prescription down and headed toward the front to check out, getting her mandatory two packs of cigarettes.

She made quick work of the pavement to get to her car. She didn't like traveling in the dark, shaking of a familiar shiver that happened to her in the dark of night, she didn't look up, except when she saw the shine of black polished loafers against the florescent light poles of the corner pharmacy. But by then it was too late. And she collided with the body that was coming her way. The collide and impact with the concrete was fast.

She looked up, way up, to eyes she hadn't seen in years.

"Carlisle?"

**Cliff Hanger. Sorry, not sorry. **

**I really loved the reviews! **

**Eight reviews first chapter. I'm so greatful, thank you! **

**Please don't forget to review! It makes the muse bug bite harder! **

**Also, I'd love to hear some ideas from you on where you would like the story to go. **

**The Knight. **

**(I do not own Twilight) **


	3. Chapter 3: Superianation

**Superianation (**_**n) **__frustration due to the fact other people are not understanding everything exactly as you mean it, not knowing all that you already know, not processing emotion in the way you do, or generally just not being as smart as you. _

* * *

_And then, he was maturing. And so was she. _

_He for some reason, resented the curves that were growing into her previously supple flat body. Because then other people noticed her, and not just him. Boys stared, boys that were bigger than him, older than him but never, wiser than him, stared. And she was vulnerable. At least in his eyes. _

_He tried to keep her away from them, instead of their movie ritual, he took her downstairs to their inner arcade, he walked her down the beach on La Push, he taught her the things he knew, that she didn't, like the piano, and painting. _

_But he couldn't keep her indoors all the time. At school, Bella stood out. She matured quicker, that's what his father called it, just matured quicker. And people noticed, and she was either loved or hated for it. _

_Girls didn't like her, obviously. Because she had the thing they had yet to grow. But boys did. Boys loved Bella, but she was oblivious, and wanted to hang out with little Edward all day, which made him a target in turn. _

_Soon, Bella was on a packet of pills. He knew because he had gone snooping around her room the day she had been sick at school. His mother didn't make him go, he couldn't handle Middle School without Bella. _

_As she was sick in the bathroom, he noticed a round packet of pills on her desk drawer, he went and read the package. _

_He took the name and information on the packet back to his father, the best doctor in the area. His father sat him down and told him that it was ,"Birth Control" and Bella was probably on it due to hard or heavy menstrual periods. _

_That night, he took her a box of sugar-free candies, and a hot chocolate from his home to comfort his aching friend. He wished, foolishly, that there was something else he could do. That instead of being on this preventative child drug, she could have something that was made specifically for these times when she was stuck in bed and both of them missed school. _

_That's when 'medicine' first caught his interest. _

_Because Bella had to be on medicine. _

_It always came back to Bella. _

**Forks, Washington – Corner Pharmacy parking lot **

**Present **

"Carlisle" She sputtered.

Then cursed herself, sputtered was too accurate. This was someone she had dreamed of cursing out for years. This was someone who she practiced speeches to in the mirror, and all she could do when she came face to face with him was sputter and quickly unwrap her new cigarettes.

She turned and started to walk away, tucking the prescription tight under her arm and digging for a lighter.

"Bella wait!" She turned to see Carlisle jogging toward her.

"I'd love to have minuet with you. Catch up, we've missed you Bella." She bit her tongue.

"I don't have time. I have to get this medicine in before it's too late." She started to scuttle away.

"Bella, please. A moment please." He grasped her elbow. She sighed and turned to face him. Cigarette dangling from her lips.

"I know we didn't leave on the most amicable terms but – Bella you've always been in the back of our heads. We miss you."

She took in his hair, graying at the temples, his laugh lines, and his bright blue eyes. She remembered being a child and thinking Carlisle had the brightest, most beautiful eyes she'd ever seen.

Other than Edward's of course.

"Carlisle really, let bygones be bygones." She said, she bent slightly at the waist and lit the stick. She saw the faint wrinkling of his nose as he took in the smell.

"You should come by for dinner. Esme would love to see you." He still had not let go of her elbow.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'm sorry, look I've to go, it's really getting late. It was lovely seeing you." And since that was the last bit of false sincerity she could manage she turned and started at a soft jog to her car.

When she was a teenager, and a child, the Cullen household had been something of a safety net for her. Growing up without a mother, and then with one that couldn't function like a mother should, in her mind, the Cullen home was the perfect distraction.

Esme was always in the kitchen or in the garden, but she also worked. She worked with the state and helped place children and was always decorating and planning events. Bella could even help.

Carlisle swooped in about six every night for dinner at the table, unlike her own father who slept in his office and forgot to call and pick her up from school.

Carlisle and Esme threw the best birthday parties, made the best dinner, and were the ideal type of parent that Bella longed for in her childhood.

Now, of course, she can appreciate her sterner parents and nights spent alone, it prepared her for living alone in Seattle. She would never last as long as she did. Balancing a grocery budget, and learning to pay the bills for her father kept her financially vigil.

And moving from hobby to hobby with her mother prepared her for making some of her dishes, making a coffee table out of a book shelf and cooking everything from scratch when she was broke in college.

"_But Edward didn't turn out so bad." _The snide and bitter side of her whispered.

She cringed at the mere mention of his name in her head.

She arrived home and Charlie was still in the recliner. She tossed the medicine bag at him.

"What took you so long?" He grumbled, taking two pills dry.

"I ran into Carlisle Cullen at the pharmacy. He wanted to chat." She spoke to him through wry turned lips. She took the liberty of cleaning the kitchen, that's what she did, stress clean. Before heading up to bed.

"The Mother's day picnic is happening tomorrow. Your mother would appreciate if you went." Charlie hedged before she could hit the stairs after kissing him goodnight.

"I'll be there. Don't worry. Then I won't have to hear anything until the fourth of July." Charlie's laughter followed her up the stairs, she took them slowly.

Before rolling into bed she dug through her suitcases looking for a dress to wear. She pulled out a light pink sheath dress, the matching pumps. The only dressy outfit she brought.

She has flicked off the light completely before she realized that Edward Cullen was more likely going to be there.

And then sleep didn't come easy.

* * *

When morning came, she drug herself out of bed and was determined not to look like the zombie she felt like. She curled and pinned her hair perfectly, office appropriate. She tied a slim black belt under her bust and headed downstairs.

Her mother was creating some sort of disaster in the kitchen, still in a bathrobe with her hair done.

"Oh Bella you're down, I need to speak with you." Bella turned a wary eye on her mother, who wiped the flour from her cheek, and ripped off the robe. Underneath was a simple green dress.

"I need you to be on your best behavior at the picnic. The book club ladies are there and I need to leave a good impression, so no smoking, stand tall, suck in. And smile. Be sure to tell people that you're the chief financial advisor." Renee smiled at her.

"I'm a vice financial advisor, not chief." She corrected.

"Same difference" Renee said. Charlie came down the stairs in nice jeans and a button up shirt that was almost a little too tight over his belly.

Bella drove behind them, them in Charlie's new truck and her in her small Buick. Renee loaded her pies out of the truck and Bella followed warily after her mother who was waving enthusiastically after people and pressing her 'famous' pies to her chest.

This was the problem with living in a small town. Bella was expected to be like Renee, happy, her famous pie recipe memorized, in the 'Ladies of the Rain' book club.

But after eighteen, small town forks didn't do it so good for Bella anymore. She didn't have the same spark, the familiarity was suffocating, rather than comforting.

Bella found a seat at a nearby fresco table to sit and observe, and of course, fight off that itchy nicotine craving.

She saw Mike Newton, with his parents. But as soon as they were gone he returned to being the awful human being he always was. She saw Jessica Stanley, who was with Lauren Mallory at the kissing booth. Bella prayed for anyone that laid their lips upon Jessica's.

She saw Angela Webber and Ben Chaney, she wondered if they were still together. She noticed the shiny ring on Angela's finger and smiled a bit for her shy female friend who bonded with her in gym class. Both of them too shy to change in front of the other girls, changed in a stall.

Her eyes then landed on the Cullen's.

Bella took in the way they dominated the space around them. Esme, older, but just as beautiful as Bella remembered in a cream dress with elbow sleeves, and patent leather caramel colored shoes, while she looked simple and elegant, Bella knew that dress could easily be five hundred dollars.

Carlisle, in slacks and a button up shirt, older as well, chatting with the 'prominent' members of Forks, if there were prominent members, the city hall commissioner, the weather man, the priest, the principal and of course the other doctors.

As soon as Bella relaxed her shoulders, she tensed them again, as another person walked into her view.

He was tall, broad shouldered. His back narrowing down and tapered into a slim masculine waist line. His black slacks and open white shirt. His hair was red toned with brown in odd occurrence sunlight in Forks. Her mouth ran dry, and that itch of a craving came back.

She watched him take long, confident strides over to his father and mother. He placed a kiss on his mother's cheek. Shook hands with the city commissioner. His smile was blindingly white, he'd obviously had his teeth whitened recently. His skin was still that flawless milky color, He wore a ring on his finger, but she knew from the look of it, it was his class ring.

Bella dug like a mad woman through her purse for a smoke. When she looked down to locate her lighter, and looked up again, she locked gazes with something monstrously green and oh, so familiar.

Bella locked gazes with Edward Cullen.

* * *

**Author Notice****: **

**I'm looking for a beta if you're interested.**

**Chapters will come every other day, or so. **

**(I do not own Twilight.) **


	4. Chapter 4: Natsukashii

**Natsukashii: **_(adj.) Suddenly, euphorically, nostalgic, triggered by experiencing something for the first time in years. _

_And then, they laid together. _

_In the most traditional of senses. _

_They lay side by side upon his mattress, over his burnt gold sheets, watching the light from his night light erupt across the ceiling. His popcorn ceiling turned into neutral ground between boy and girl, of just thirteen._

_Their hands grazed each other, but only in the most innocent of senses. _

_He turned to look at her profile, her thin, small nose, long lashes, plump lips. And sighed in a kind of content that didn't come so naturally to him._

_She was the type of drug that one could neither wean nor cold-turkey. _

"_Edward." She said suddenly. _

"_Bella." He replied back calmly. _

_This was the nature of their relationship. She abrupt, spontaneous, full of life, filled him. And he, her rock, settled her. _

_She just didn't know he needed her more than she needed him, and he liked it that way, that'd way, she'd never leave. His darling girl. _

"_I have a fear" She confessed. With this he shifted closer, giving her his full attention and comforting her at the same time, he only hoped his body warmth and smell brought her as much comfort as hers brought him. _

_To Edward, Bella was the type of superhero that had no weaknesses, if she was scared of something, he should be scared of it too, if she couldn't face it, he couldn't either._

"_What's that?" He asked. _

"_I'm scared that I won't be kissed before I die." And his heart stuttered to a stop. Bella dreamed of being kissed? Of whose lips were they? _

"_Edward." She said again. He had gone deep into his thoughts, thinking of soft lips, red from the slush he'd brought her at lunch, still stained, forever stained. _

"_Will you kiss me?" She asked him. His heart galloped like a race horse. Thundering against his scrawny chest, it took everything in him not begin to breath fast and deep, a hyperventative state. _

_He turned his head in her direction, and she was staring at his popcorn ceiling. The dancing, changing colors went through a full cycle: dark blue, baby blue, green, dark green, purple, dark purple, plumb. _

_And he, grasped her chin in his large hand (The hand always too loud for his body.) And turned her thin, angelic face his way. Taking in the slim nose, dip, plump lips, and with startling clarity, he said, "Of course." _

_Both teens reveled in the taste and feel of their first kiss. Wet, slimey and odd; but a strangely enjoyable sensation. They pulled apart, Bella's warm breath mixed with his cooler, mint breath, he'd recently brushed, she did too, using his toothbrush, but afterwards she enjoyed a cookie. _

_With the taste of melted chocolate and warmth on his lips, he turned them back to her, pressing them against hers again. _

_His first sight of bravery since starting school. _

_She pressed closer as well. _

_And under the changing colors of the nightlight, Bella and Edward embraced their inner want, and found solace in the knowledge, they had been the first. _

_And for a long time, the longest time, he was the only. And he prided himself in that fact, that Bella's lips were his to claim and his to explore. While they never defined themselves, and wouldn't, until a year later, as a couple, they continued on. Experiencing the life of newborn hormones together. Hands touched, sparks flew between them, their lips met often, at least once a day, in greeting and in parting, which was something they hardly did. _

_Edward and Bella were inseparable. _

**Forks, Washington, Home of Carlisle and Esme Cullen, Monday. **

**Previously. **

"Mom, please, I'm not hungry. I'm on the phone, just a moment." Edward shooed away his mother with a wave of his hand. She fluttered around the kitchen, busy bee that she was.

"You need to eat, you're getting scrawny." She said, pointing a wooden spoon at him in warning.

That was impossible. His personal trainer kept him on a strict workout session, and a diet composed mostly of steak and beans. He'd gained more muscle in the past couple of years than he'd gained height growing up. He took the holiday to break from diet, shoving cookies in his mouth, and not eating lunch. Maybe even enjoying a meatless meal. He could only eat so much red meat.

"Jasper and Emmett are almost here." He knew it would give her something to do. She clapped her hands together once and started shuffling around the house, going to empty the dryer that had the guest sheets in them.

"You know you're mom doesn't have to do anything from us. It's nice enough that we don't have to stay in a hotel." Jasper sounded in his ear.

"It gives her something to do. She's excited to meet you." He said truthfully. His mother was excited to meet the best friends he had in Chicago. She'd heard so much about them on the phone.

Jasper and Emmett were half-brother's, whose mother was long gone, not dead, just gone. They decided to come and spend mother's day with Edward, less for the mother's day aspect, more for the vacation and free food.

"Our plane is landing at about six tonight." Jasper reminded.

Jasper, the straight laced, business man. He handled Edward's medical business. He sold medicine to companies, and picked sights for plants and digs. He crunched the numbers, and made sure the company was making a smart decision.

"Hopefully there'll still be some of your mom's cookies there when we get there. Which I hope you haven't had too many of." Emmett reminded from somewhere. Edward suspected he was on speaker phone.

Emmett, the loose cannon. Edward's assistant in medicine. He chose hospitals, ground sights and did lots of physical labor. Overseeing construction and design, as well as advertising. He made sure the product made it safer and better looking on the shelf.

"Don't worry. I think my mom baked the store down yesterday." Edward scratched his scruffy cheek.

He checked his Rolex.

"Call me when you land. I'm going to check on dad at the hospital." With that he hung up abruptly. He shouted to his mother, grabbed the keys to the Jaguar.

As he rode through the streets of Forks, the memories flooded back, and he wished his parents weren't so dead set at doing the holiday in Forks. He would gladly buy them a home in Chicago if they would let him.

He rode past the park where he was constantly picked on; for being scrawny, being smart, being human. Past the tree where, under it, Preston Lockett knocked his glasses off his face and broke his nose.

He past the grade school and the middle school. He drove through familiar neighborhoods. His car automatically slowed in front of one home. Tall, white and narrow. The house stood out from all the others because of the police cruiser in the drive way. Beside it a black truck, and behind it, a mini cooper. Edward raised a brow at that, maybe Renee had gotten a new car. Edward knew how much Bella hated to ride in her red van.

Bella, Edward flinched a bit at the mere thought of her name in his mind. His body reacted to the name like that of one going through withdrawl, his skin grew flushed and heated, sticky to the touch with sweat, his eyes dilated and darkened, his mouth grew dry and his fingers twitched against the steering wheel, and beyond that, his heart set off like a race horse.

Her name banged around his head and created a storm of activity, memories flooded back of them lying in the lawn of this very house, of what her small, box like room had looked like with its purple painted walls and cold, old, hardwood.

He didn't even notice he was on the brake, and was sitting outside her house.

He watched as a familiar figure came out of the front door, toting a trash can. Curly bright red hair streaked with grey, drug the trashcan to the corner and paid attention to nothing but the pavement.

Edward pressed on the gas again, and flew out of that small neighborhood to the hospital.

He took a hand and dug it through his hair. Grabbing and pulling in the most comforting of situations.

He parked next to his father's Mercedes and tried not to hyperventilate. He didn't want to be back in Forks.

He walked calmly though, through the hospital corridors.

Compared to the hospital Edward normally worked at, this hospital was outdated and dilapidated. Edward shuddered at the thought of what state the hospital had been in before his father stepped in to help out. The hallways were warn and scrapped, the E.R. still had cloth hanging from the ceiling to separate the beds, in his hospital they had small walls separating people. There were no big machines like in Edwards hospital, they had to drive out of town to get an EEG. Edward didn't understand why a fabulous doctor like Carlisle had decided to stick around in this little town and work for a fourth of what he could be making.

His father's office was only a fourth of the size of his in Chicago, but it was neatly organized and filled with rich mahogany desks and book shelves. Edward waited until the door was shut before he fell apart. Collapsing into the brown leather overstuffed chair across from his father's desk he held his head in his hands and breathed between his knees.

"Edward, are you ill?" He heard his father stand and come to his side. His hand probing his forehead and neck for fever. Edward swatted him away.

"No, I'm tired. Dad, I'm so tired." He moaned. He leaned forward a bit more. Edward felt something damp across his sweated brow. A wet towel.

"Tell me what's wrong, you're not clear." He could hear the distress in his father's voice. Edward hadn't been ill in years, he took good care of himself, and was a phenomenal doctor, he could always care for himself. So, for Carlisle to see him this way was startling.

"I shouldn't have come. I can't do this." Edward moaned again, this time leaning back in to the plush leather, breathing deep.

"Can't what? Forks wasn't that bad. Isn't that bad. It wont be hard for you to socialize for a week and then go back home. You can do this." Carlisle urged.

"It's not that." Edward moaned.

"What can't you do?" Carlisle asked. Dabbing at his brow.

"Stay away."

**Forks, Washington, Mother's day picnic. **

**Present **

_Bella dug like a mad woman through her purse for a smoke. When she looked down to locate her lighter, and looked up again, she locked gazes with something monstrously green and oh, so familiar. _

_Bella locked gazes with Edward Cullen._

She scrambled and stood up.

She looked up again. He was still staring. His apple green's baring deep into hers. She finally located the lighter and took off a fast walk, away from his, away from it all. She puffed heavily on her cigarette, taking a deep draw.

She heard people whisper as she took down her tightly pinned hair and headed toward the parking lot. She couldn't stay. He parents would understand, and even if they didn't, she was only here for two more days. They would at least have to be over it by thanksgiving, no one else could cook turkey dinner.

One thing she couldn't do, was face Edward Cullen. If she was going to, she wanted to be prepared, and probably have a baseball bat in her hands. To beat him with.

She knew on some level she was being irrational. That Edward would never talk to her, avoid her on all costs. But on the same level, she didn't want to risk it. If Edward wanted to come and rub all that success and correctness in her face, well – she wasn't having it. And her father would probably have to arrest her.

"_I need to be independent. I'll succeed greater without you hanging onto me." _

His fierce words from that Saturday morning came back to her. And goddamn it, he was right.

Was she holding him down?

She crushed that cigarette under her pump and had another one ready.

"_I have to do this Bella, my life cannot revolve around you. It does not revolve around you. I need to see new cities, new books, new people, new…. Woman." _

Bella shuddered off the memory.

She stomped through the parking lot. Headed toward her Mini.

Tears burned her eyes and she stopped to pull on sunglasses. Last thing she needed was to run into someone and them report to the rest of the town that Bella Swan was an emotional wreck.

"_You're sucking the life out of me Bella. I can't play these games with you anymore. I need more. I deserve more." _

She made quick work and bent down, pressing the tip of the burning cigarette into the flesh of her foot. Rearing back from the brief pain, the burning turning into an ache on her foot, but it also brought her back to reality.

She was Bella, Vice financial advisor for a company that managed personal accounts and small businesses. She had two cats. Two friends, and barely any family.

She was at the bottom of his foot chain. She sat in an office all day and stared at numbers. People's lives, and couldn't get hers together.

"Pull it together." She growled to herself, wiping angrily at her face. She didn't want mascara tracks.

As she went to reach for a new cigarette, the old one forgotten, smoking on the ground, her elbow was seized. Her heart beat fast in chest as she turned and flung her arm out at her assailant.

"Whoa, you've got faster reflexes than you used to have." A deep, smooth voice told her. She looked up, way up, into apple green. She snatched her elbow back.

"Since when do you smoke." The perfect nose wrinkled.

Bella couldn't find her voice. It was buried somewhere in her kidneys or something. She wanted to stomp his foot and run away, but she knew that childish display would only cause to make her life worse, not better.

"I know, this is a surprise." He released her elbow and buried his hand into his hair.

"Listen," He continued. "I want to talk, to you, I feel like … I have some things I want to get off my chest." He said. He met her eyes again, and this time, Bella found her voice.

"You have something to get off your chest …. What about me? No. No." She shook her head rapidly. A flood of brown flew down her shoulders as her hair became wild.

"You don't get to say anything. Why don't you turn around, walk your ass back to where you came from and stay away from me." She hissed. "I don't need any sort of anything from you. I don't want to hear anything you have to say." She jabbed her finger into his chest, and made sure it wasn't her cigarette. Because God knew, she wanted to burn him.

"Bella, please listen –"

"No you listen to me, Edward Cullen, I know you're used to getting your way in the big bad world out there, but Bella Swan isn't your lackey, and I'm not about to sit here and listen to this. I don't owe you anything, especially not my precious time. If you don't mind, I'm going to go to my car now, and if you follow me, know that I have mace in my purse."

Bella stumbled over to her car in her now seemingly wobbly heels, she made it to her car but not without one last glanced in his direction, she almost stopped when she did. He was looking at her, his hands buried deep into his hair. His stressor. Eyes wide, legs apart, he looked vulnerable.

She threw her car in reverse and made it down the road, she knew every cop in town would be at the picnic and raced toward the only place that wasn't home that couple maybe provide a bit of comfort. The Diner.

When she arrived, it was empty. A few of the tired old waitress milled around, older unmarried men sat in booths, Bella made her way toward the one by the window. She collapsed heavily in the red vinyl and made a brief order for a coffee, pressing her heated forehead up against the window.

"Here ya go, Darlin'" the steaming mug was set in front of her, she broke her caffeine swear-off and sipped happily at the murky, bitter liquid. Soothing the ache that was building up the center of her chest, because of Edward Cullen.

She was surprised, she had to admit, that Edward Cullen had the balls to come and speak with her. She thought he would spend his time in Forks driving circles around her home and telling people that he didn't know she was in town. But instead he walked right up to her, in public, and she made a scene!

She laid her head heavily into her arms and held the urge not to pick up the napkin dispenser from the table and launch in across the room. Bella never had 'fits of rage' when she was younger, only now did she experience these things.

She felt the table shift beneath her head and looked up into eyes that were kind of similar to her own. The familiarity rushed back to her. Angela Webber.

"I saw what happened." The once socially awkward girl blurted.

Bella groaned, "Let it be." She said. Angela ordered a coffee.

"You want to talk about it?" Angela asked after being handed her own mug of joe.

"Not necessarily." Bella said honestly.

"I get it, I do. Things with Ben and I … they went south too there for a little bit." Angela admitted, and Bella's eyes widened a fraction in surprise. Ben Chaney and Angela Webber were a cute couple in high school, while they never publically displayed their affection, their soft glanced toward each other spoke volumes.

"But we never imagined … that you and Edward wouldn't be together. You were just so … perfect for each other, what happened?" Angela picked apart at the table as she spoke.

"If I tell you… you can't .."

"I won't."

The promise was sealed.

"When Edward and I were nineteen, and living in Seattle, we were engaged."

**DUN DUN DUNNNN **

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	5. Chapter 5: Magoa

**Magoa (n): **_A heartbreaking feeling that leaves long-lasting traces, visible in gestures and facial expressions. _

* * *

_The restaurant was dimly lit. Conversation flowed easily between the pairs. He, excited about a new find in chemistry and she, eager to listen to anything he had to say. She noticed a slight difference in him though, he kept adjusting the tie he forced himself to wear, and kept a hand firmly clenched in his pocket. _

"_It's amazing, Edward if you do this, if this is right, you know how much success you'll see? At our high-school reunion we can rub it in everyone's face!" She was ecstatic for him. Bouncing slightly in place in her chair, her fork deep in her spaghetti. _

"_Bella – " Edward started, but couldn't finish as the hot embarrassed flush took over his body. _

"_What's wrong?" She was suddenly concerned at his pallor. _

"_Bella – I – " he stopped talking then, and stood abruptly, his chair scraping across the floor. She watched him warily. _

_And then gasped, as he dropped to one knee. _

* * *

**Forks, Washington, The Diner on Maine. **

**Present **

"When Edward and I were nineteen, and living in Seattle, we were engaged."

Bella heard Angela's gasp, but didn't stop, she knew if she stopped, she wouldn't start again.

"We did all the things normal couples did. We decorated our small one bedroom, crammed furniture in there and I hung plants from the windows. His parents bought us the apartment, since it was close to campus. We were young ,and in love, and nothing was impossible, … or so I thought. He was working on his second big break. His first one came right before he started school, medical companies were interested in him, and he was working so diligently on the medication he was creating.

He used our bathroom bathtub and sink, and our kitchen as his lab. I used to help. But science was never my thing. We got some hamsters, and purchased our first big TV and all that. I was working in a book store by campus and he was doing research for the lab that had taken his first trial back before we started U-Dub.

We did all the things couples were supposed to do. We talked about the future, children, moving out of our apartment. Everything changed right after Edward's twenty-first.

"He was distant, always in the lab. I just thought, it was his creative genius. That's what he did, he needed a bit of isolation these days, classes were harder, his expectations grew, and he tried to meet every single one of them. We would get in small skirmishes, he thought, I was working toward a backless career and he didn't like the fact that I loved working in the bookstore. He said I needed to do better. I hated that sometimes he slept at the lab, or didn't sleep at all. My concerns were his physical and mental health.

And then after the third trial was done, and he got his biggest break, everyone was so proud, and we were celebrating, planning a wedding in Italy. When, it all fell apart."

Bella remembered his words from that day, as he stood across from her in the hallway between the living room and the bed room.

" _I can't do this Bella. Wedding in Italy? New apartment? I cant. I need to be … by myself for a little while. I need to be independent. I'll succeed greater without you hanging onto me. This is not my first success, and I can't live this way, I can't go the lab and come home and worry about what the hell you are doing, and planning on doing with your life. You can't live off the finances of me and my family forever. I have to do this Bella, my life cannot revolve around you. It does not revolve around you. I need to see new cities, new books, new people, new … Woman. I deserve better. Better than the high school sweetheart _ _working in a bookstore. You're sucking the life out of me Bella. I can't lay these games with you anymore . I need more. I deserve more. I'm going bigger places than Forks and Seattle, and I need someone who can take the ride."_

A small hand appeared in front of her, pouring more coffee in her cup. Bella looked up into the sympathetic eyes of a waitress. Only when she saw drops of water on the table top did she notice she was crying. "_Must be why my eyes are burning" _

She read the nametag of the nurse, "Rosalie." She said aloud, "Thanks Rose." She smiled at the waitress, who gave her a beaming one back.

"No problem. Let me know if you need anything." And the blond was off then, taking her coffee to a table of loggers.

Bella took a deep breath to continue her story. "The next morning, he moved out of the apartment. I don't know where he went, I didn't see him at school, I heard he transferred to Yale. And he did. What Edward didn't realize was that his parents had stopped paying for the rent and utilities, and I had taken them over just like we originally agreed. When Edward left, I had to drop out of school, I started taking online classes, later. I worked two jobs, day and night I worked to pay off that apartment. The money that he had been getting for working in the lab was enough to cover us and I was used to paying the utilities and groceries, now I was paying nine-hundred dollars in rent too. It was too much." Bella shook her head, running a palm under eyes and over her forehead.

" What happened after that." Angela asked.

"That's the end." Bella said. She didn't meet eyes with Angela.

"You're leaving something out. Bella please, you can trust me, I want to help you." Angela said, she snatched up Bella's smaller, paler hand.

Bella took her hand out of Angela's

"At night, I worked in a grocery store. It was only down the street, so I didn't drive, gas was an expense I didn't need. I was walking home. I was almost there, when someone came up behind me, grabbed me, put their hand over my mouth and took me into an alley, where a van was waiting." Bella couldn't meet Angela's eyes as she heard her gasp.

"He said, he had waiting so long to talk to me. That now that he had me, he wasn't letting me go. He took me in the van to a small house, on the outside of Seattle. I didn't have many friends in Seattle, I knew that no one would know I was missing. When we got the house, he … did what he wanted to do. And in the morning, or the day after, I don't remember. I was so terrified, he took the blindfold off, and let me go. I was hurt, and nearly naked, running through downtown Seattle, that's where he dropped me off." She said.

"The police could never find him. They could only tell me that I was his type, he was kind of notorious, taking brunettes with brown eyes. I moved out of the apartment after that, broke my lease and moved into a gated community, that was a hundred dollars cheaper. But safer. I finished my degree in Financial advocacy and business, I got a certification in accounting and started working. I've been there since." Bella finally turned her eyes to Angela's. Which were wide and horrified.

"The End." She said.

**Forks, Washington, Home of Carlisle and Esme**

**Present **

Edward laid across the couch on the back patio. His hands covered his eyes, his legs cramped up the fit. He couldn't get the image of her out of his head. Her eyes wide and horrified to see him, her arms clutching around her body. She looked like she had seen the grim reaper, and it was only him.

Edward couldn't stop the burn from behind his eyes, he slowly shook his head back and forth. There was nothing he could do to fix this, he knew. With that the burn escaped. He felt the hot water sliding down the corner of his eyes and a hot flash of shame crashed over him.

"_You have no reason to cry, you did this to yourself." _

Edward's arm covered his eyes and one buried in his hair to begin to pull at the locks.

He uncovered his eyes, and stared at the star studded sky. He heard the back door slide open and small feed pad across the wood. The smell of lemon and cotton and sugar taking over his senses, it was his mother.

"Sit up." She said lightly. He did, and she slid in the spot where his head would go. He laid back down across his mother's lap. She soothed out his battered locks and wiped at his red rimmed eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked. He stared up at his mother's face. And remembered her words when he showed up at her house that day after,

"_What did you do Edward? What did you do! Where is Bella? Where is my daughter!" _

"I saw Bella today." He said. She traced her fingers over his face.

"And?" She asked tentatively. Edward knew that Bella was a sensitive subject in his family. His parents had never been more disappointed in him than when he left Bella in Seattle. His mother didn't talk to him for months, Carlisle just told Edward that Esme was grieving the loss of her child. Esme always loved Bella, she was the daughter that she never got and when Edward and Bella became engaged, Esme was the happiest that Edward had ever seen her.

"She told me to stay away, that if I didn't she would mace me. And that I wasn't allowed to talk to her." He said brokenly. Esme's hands stopped briefly over his face. Before stroking again.

"I wish you would tell me the full story, maybe I could talk to her." Esme urged.

When Edward returned home after crushing Bella's heart, he simply told his parents that he broke up with her, and that he didn't want them contacting her. He denied that she had done anything bad, because she hadn't.

"I can't Mom, I just can't." He whispered.

"Maybe I could try and talk to her. I miss her Edward." His mother's voice broke. He sat up abruptly to stare into her sad eyes.

"You haven't been the same since you broke up, you don't visit all the time anymore, you don't smile all the time, that's why I wanted your friends to come with you, so I could see you smile and have friends and have fun. All the girlfriends you have now and awful, they're loud and obnoxious and they're with you for your money Edward!" She cried. She stood up and laid her arms across her hips.

"I don't know what was going through your head when you broke her heart! I don't know why you did it, but it was a mistake, why did you do it?" She asked.

"I was protecting her!" He yelled.

"From what?" She asked.

"Being stuck with me for the rest of her life." He said, she took a step back from him.

"That's what she wanted, she wanted to be with you, and you took that from her." Esme said. She turned and walked into the house, brushing past Carlisle on her way out.

"What's going on?" His glasses were pushed up far on his face, his eyes moving between Esme and Edward.

"Nothing." Esme said, she brushed past him and went into the home.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"She's still mad at me, for breaking up with Bella." Edward sank back into the furniture.

"That understandable, I saw her at the pharmacy the other day. She seemed … okay. I didn't know she was a smoker." Carlisle said. Carlisle took a seat next to Edward.

"Son, you have to understand that your mom, she was devastated. She feels like not only did she lose Bella, she lost you too. You and Bella where together so long that when things ended, it seemed unreal and unreasonable to her. Being in the same town as Bella, the same state, and not being able to call her or come visit or anything of that nature is painful for her, she knows she can't do it without hurting you.

The last time Esme saw Bella was when Charlie Swan was in the hospital, he'd gotten shot on the highway by a drunk logger. She went to deliver flowers to him and Renee in the hospital. Bella was asleep in the recliner next to the bed that he was recovering in. She wanted to so bad to wake her up and shake her and tell her to come home. But she couldn't. That hurts her. She misses Bella."

"Charlie got shot?" Edward gasped.

"Yup, about three years ago on the highway. I operated on him myself." Carlisle said.

"Is he alright?" Edward's chest grew heavy with worry for the man he would have called his father-in-law. Charlie wasn't the best parent to Bella growing up, but in her teen years, he tried to fix things with her and Renee, those were good years.

"Yeah, bullet in his knee, we couldn't get the bullet out, but we secured everything else."

"Jesus Christ" He gasped.

"Give your mom time. I saw you talking to Bella today, I'm sorry it didn't go the way you wanted it too." Carlisle had always been his empathic parent, while Esme was sympathetic. She could only take so much.

"Are you going to try again?" Carlisle asked.

Edward stared up at the sky, "I'm not going to give up."

* * *

**Short chapter **

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	6. Chapter 6: Sillage

**Sillage: **_ (n) The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone, the trace of someone's perfume. _

* * *

_The diner was packed. The waitresses bustled around and delivered coffee and shakes to people. _

_But Edward and Bella were in their own world. Their hands were clasped together alongside a chocolate shake, Bella didn't like vanilla. The smell of powdered sugar wafted over to him as she stared into her glowing brown eyes. _

_She was radiant on that night. Her long brown hair pushed back behind her ears, hanging down past her rounding chest. The waves were thick and shiny from his mother taking her to salon in Seattle for a special cut on the last holiday. Her nails were painted delicate blue and she wore the T-shirt he loved best on her, a Radiohead band T-shirt. _

_The air seeping in from the badly insulated window was humid from spring showers and summer heat in the transitioning seasons. _

_She looked at him like he was whole wide world. _

"_I can't wait for it!" She was bouncing in her seat at the announcement of their jazz concert tickets. _

"_I'm glad you like it." He chuckled at her obvious excitement. _

"_Like it? I love it." She did a little body quiver. _

_Before he could tell her how nice she looked, that was mandatory for a first date right? A shadow came over their table, and he looked up to the eyes of Mike Newton. _

"_Well, well. Looks like you finally guilt tripped her enough to get her to date you." Mike sneered. His eyes roamed Bella's face for some kind of approval but all he got was tightening around her eyes. _

_At that moment, Edward cursed his skinny, boney, body. He wished he were big and muscular like the boys on the football team, so he could stand up, and punch Mike Newton in the face. _

"_Go away, Mike. Your ruining my good night." Bella hissed. Edward's voice was caught in his throat. He was flushed with shame and embarrassment. _

"_Come on Bella, your boyfriend can't stand up for you?" He asked. _

"_Mike I swear to God …." She trailed of. _

"_What's wrong Bella-boo, tell me what you'll do to me you know it turns me _

_o-" Before Mike could finish that last word Bella had landed a fist on his face. _

_Blood burst from a cut over his nose and he drew back, tossing profanities at her. Edward had already pulled a fifty out of his pocket and laid it on the table, Bella shook out her hand and held it out for Edward. He took it and lead her out of the Diner. _

* * *

**Forks, Washington, Home of Doctor Carlisle Cullen, and his Wife. **

The first time they met Bella Swan, she was a small dirty child. Her hair was ratted up on top of her head, in an almost dreadlock state. Her knees were scrapped, her skin was almost embedded with dirt, She had a smile that was riddled with missing teeth, and she was holding Edward's hand.

Edward, Esme had always worried, was different. He was quiet, small, and his brain was much faster than his body. He was smart, like his father, otherworldly so. He was the type of baby that hardly cried, but was silently observant, learning rapidly. He was walking before all her friends babies, and talking much sooner as well.

But he was socially inadequate, he hid behind her during play dates, and didn't make friends. Esme had been so worried to put him in school, and those first couple of weeks were awful, he hated school, cried when he had to go. The only thing he liked was the learning, but he was too fast for his class, and the teacher wouldn't bump his grade. He didn't have friends, and spent recess in the school in the library.

But that was when Bella came along.

At first, Carlisle worried that Bella was an imaginary friend.

He came home, excited sometimes, telling the tales of how Bella and he ruled the playground. Bella made up a game that he could play with the other students that wouldn't physically exert him, and he won must of the time. Bella drew him pictures, and picked out books that she liked that he could read.

Sometimes, Bella skipped recess for him. When he asked Edward about Bella's home life, he didn't get a big answer, Edward didn't know those things, he said "She lives with her daddy." And that her 'daddy' was a police officer.

After some discreet digging to the teacher, he found that Bella was in fact, Isabella Swan, daughter to the quiet police chief. Esme found herself running into the chief of police at the grocery store and setting up a play date.

Bella was the sunshine to Edward.

She dragged him around the play room they had set up for him (that he hardly used) she taught him to play video games, she shoved herself full of Esme's cookies, and then they passed out in the tree house, and with permission from Charlie, that's where they stayed.

Esme and Carlisle grew very attached to the dirty brown haired girl. And Edward did too.

She was that cocoon to his butterfly.

When they reached middle school, Esme and Carlisle grew concerned about the connection between Edward and Bella, Bella was maturing into a beautiful young lady, and Edward still lagged behind. It was obvious at that point that Edward's feelings went beyond friendship, but Bella remained oblivious and Edward was still her drag-along. But Esme, being the trusting parent still allowed sleepovers and time alone, she trusted them.

In highschool, they became serious. Very serious. Which wasn't as concerning to Esme and Carlisle as it should have been. Edward was blooming beautifully out his shell, and Bella was the catalyst for that.

When Edward, on his last day of high school, told his parents he was going to propose to Bella when they left for University, they couldn't have been happier.

Carlisle and Esme started up an apartment for them, but Bella promised that they would take over the lease at some point, she wasn't sure when. But Carlisle and Esme weren't concerned.

Then, on a very rainy Forks night, Edward returned home. He had suitcases in the Volvo, red rimmed, teary eyes. Esme had pushed him into the house, asked him what's wrong.

"_It's over mom, it's over." _

"_What's over? Where's Bella?" _

"_We're over, I ended it," _He sobbed.

She sobbed, Carlisle was shocked.

"_How could you do that? What did she do wrong?" _

"_Nothing, nothing, god fucking damnit, nothing!" _

"_Edward!" _

He crashed into the side table, threw it against a wall, corded phone and all. He kicked the china cabinet, threw himself into a wall and sobbed.

For days.

Esme and Carlisle tried to get him to tell them what was wrong. But Esme had a hard time to sympathize with him.

"_You can't talk to her, don't call her, don't mail her, don't even look at her if you see her, she has to move on. She has too." _

"_Edward, the apartment is in your name now, what about money?" _

"_She'll move. I know she wanted to live closer to the bookstore." _

Esme, at that moment, knew that not talking to Bella was going to be the hardest thing she'd ever have to do. But Edward was her son, and her only child, and if he asked her not to do something, she would try to abide. It was obvious to her that something was misconstrued with Edward, he was under some kind of false impression, but he moved to go to Yale.

And then Charlie Swan was shot. And Esme was at the hospital. There was a skinny brunette slumped over in the waiting room, she had tight black pants on, a tank top and fitted leather jacket. She stood, and tottered on her heels.

Esme knew it was Bella, she could tell by the rich brunette waves, high cheek bones, and collar bones. She walked to the tall girl, who spun on her heel and shot her a cold look. Esme stopped in her tracks, observing the pale skin, skinnier physic and bruised brown eyes.

Bella walked right past her.

Now, Esme sat in a chair in the sun room, her head in her hands, she felt something for Edward, she didn't think she could, a little bit of … resentment. While she loved Edward had come to his senses, she wished he never had. She wished that he could suffer for a bit longer, and then think back to his mistakes.

She wished, Edward wasn't just book smart.

**Forks, Washington – The Diner on Maine **

**Present **

The Diner was just as he remembered it. The greasy floor, the fake material of the table tops. The red vinyl seats. All of it was a memory from his childhood. He couldn't help as his gaze wandered over to a corner booth, where he could remember sitting across from his best friend.

Her brown hair over her breasts, her radiohead T-shirt, her scrappy dark blue shorts. The image's of her were burned in his retina. Of her big white smile. Her back arching off white sheets.

He tried to clear his head, running a hand through his red locks. Even the waitresses were the same, except the young slim blond working the pie bar. He felt a nudge beside him, he looked to his right, where Jasper had a brow raised.

"Come on space cadet, we need you on ground. I know you didn't drag us around this shithole to tell us about your childhood."

Jasper was right, he usually was. Edward looked into his murky coffee, it had been so long since he'd had bad coffee. Now someone came to his office – specifically hired – to deliver him coffee, it was imported from France, cost a pretty penny, but he'd always demanded the best.

"_Not when it comes to women you don't" _The snarky voice inside of his head fired up, reminding him of the last date he'd been on, the leggy blonde was nothing short of stupid. Her constant smacking of her food, the loud slip of her wine, it didn't matter. To her, he was the confident business man. His suit was more than her rent, his car was more than her yearly earnings. To her, he was an untouchable, stone, piece of meat.

She didn't know of the young, bony, scrawny boy inside of his body. He didn't think anyone did.

"_Bella does." _

Edward shook his head, plastered a smile upon his face to speak to his business partners, "Wanted to get you used to the rain boys. I have thoughts."

Emmett, who sat by himself on one side of the booth leaned forward and smirked a bit, "Used to the rain? I'll never get used to the earth constantly pissing on me."

Edward gave a dry chuckle, "I'm thinking Washington needs a new pharmaceutical plant." This stopped the laugher at the table.

"What do you mean, I thought you said no Seattle?" Jasper asked. His coffee cup was set on the table firmly.

"I changed my mind" He said lamely. He knew Jasper's ice blue eyes were bearing down into his skin and into his brain, his sharp best friend missed nothing.

"I want to see about planting a headquarters there. Need to be close to my family." That was a lie. While Edward did miss his mother and father on occasion, they weren't the sole reason he had solidified his idea to move his headquarters to Seattle.

"You're parents have a place in Chicago, if they wanted to be by you so much, they would move." Jasper said, always the cool negotiator.

"Does the muse really matter? I think I'll be happier in Seattle. I have a few …. Other small changes to bring to the table." At this he lowered his head.

"What's going on your head Ed?" Emmett asked from across the table.

"Nothing" He argued weakly.

"Bullshit. Somethings up, something's been up since we got here. What the fuck is going on?" Jasper asked. Edward could hear his friends accent sneaking out.

"About these minor changes." Edward tried to continue. "I was thinking about a … corporate name change.."

"….Corporate name change? Are you fucking with me right now?" Jasper was hissing like a rattle snake.

Emmett was watching them from across the table, he took in his two best friends. Jasper, his half brother, his blond hair pushed off his forehead, his ice-blue eyes looking almost aflame, his cheeks reddened with anger, but his eyes dancing in confusion. The to Edward, tall, imposing, head to toe in fitted black, his eyes were locked on the table, his coffee still full, his cheeks pale, his shoulders hunched in, he didn't look like a powerful CEO.

"Cullen Inc… it's …. It's not right. It's not fitting anymore. I've been thinking…"

"I think you're going crazy. I think being home, in this shithole town, has got you all wound up and spun up on shit that doesn't matter. Forget it, it's in the past." Jasper tried to rationalize.

"It's not … I have to do this. I have to make something's right… I don't think … I could live with myself… If I didn't." His words were slowly picked over, chosen with care and handed to them on the table. "I need you to be here with me, on this. This is what I need to do." Emmett finally caught eyes with Edward, whose eyes were racing back and forth, desperation, Emmett recognized.

"Ed… Man, what are you talking about?" Jasper said slowly.

"There's something I need to make right. I cannot live with myself if I don't fix things between her and I…" He spaced out.

Jasper narrowed his eyes at Edward, not in anger, but confusion. His friend, hunched over a cooling cup of disgusting coffee, the man who made millions, the man who was more intelligent than anyone he'd ever known, was making some sort of declaration.

Something was eating the red-head alive.

"Okay …. What else did you have in mind." Jasper's voice was much more calm than it had been before.

"Like I said, a corporate name change, and maybe the logo could be changed as well. I also want to focus more on small business and clinic when it comes to price, maybe we can lower it for them, or find a way for them to get it easier. I'd also like to develop some new ideas for our feminine care items. As well as that, there's the hospital in Forks I'd like to look at renovating. It'd be a hard process, that's the only hospital they have."

Jasper had dug a small pad out of his jacket pocket and was scribbling furiously.

"The name change, is there a specific you were looking at?"

"I was thinking – "

Before he could finish what it was that he was saying, a shadow fell upon the table. Edward raised his eyes to the vital blond waitress standing over their table, in a white dress, blue apron, and long thin blond hair. Her eyes were hard though.

Her name tag read, "Rosalie."

"Are you Edward Cullen?" She asked.

"Yes ma-am … can I he-"

He felt it, before he saw it, the scalding hot liquid burned through his jacket, his button up, and his slacks. The strong smell of coffee erupting in his nose as he jumped and tried to peel the burning, soaking layers from his skin. Hissing and glaring, before he could yell at her she yelled first.

"That's for what you did to Bella! You jerk!" She leaned forward then, her palm smacking the table as she got into his face. "Don't let me ever see you on the street. And if you know what's good for you, you'll stay the hell out of the Diner. You're lucky hot coffee is all you're getting" With that she turned, spun on her white covered heel and yelled toward the front, Big spill at table nine!"

Edward looked at his friends, who's mouth's were open in shock, as they stared at the waitress storming away.

"What the fuck was that? And who the hell is Bella?"

* * *

**I do not own Twilight Fanfiction. **

**In order to understand what's about to happen, read the author note!**

**Still looking for a Beta. **

**Love Reviews. **

**To clear some things up: Rosalie overheard what happened when she waitressing, she'll be a BIG role in this story. **

**2. Esme didn't speak with Bella, and you have to understand, it was because Edward pleaded with her not too. Now, Edward will be paying for that later in the story, and we will be hearing more about how Esme feels. **

**3. Edward's behavior is about to change…. A lot. He's going to be doing drastic things, drastic measures, to win some sort of conversation with Bella. **

**4. There is a time jump coming up, just a small one, a few days. **

**I'D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW, IF THERE'S A POINT OF VIEW, YOU'D LIKE TO HEAR FROM! LET ME KMOW! **


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